


Send My Love

by ofstormsandwolves



Series: what the heart wants (or, Zoey's Extraordinary Gaylist) [3]
Category: Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e12 Zoey's Extraordinary Dad, F/F, F/M, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:47:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofstormsandwolves/pseuds/ofstormsandwolves
Summary: Zoey and Joan have admitted their feelings, but now they have to navigate Mitch's final hours, a funeral, and two (potentially) jealous men...
Relationships: David Clarke/Emily (Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist), Maggie Clarke/Mitch Clarke, Zoey Clarke/Joan
Series: what the heart wants (or, Zoey's Extraordinary Gaylist) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793608
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	Send My Love

Zoey Clarke felt sick. One moment she and Joan had been at her apartment, laughing and chatting, and the next she was scrambling to find her shoes and dash out the door.

The day had come.

One fateful phone call from Howie, and the entirety of Zoey’s life had been tipped upside down. To Joan’s credit, she had grabbed her car keys and steered the redhead down the stairs and into her car, plopping her in the passenger seat before calmly sliding behind the wheel.

They talked very little on the drive to the Clarke house, a stark contrast to the giggling conversations they’d been having barely half hour before, and Joan only spoke to ask Zoey for directions. There was surprisingly little traffic, but the sky was already dark when they pulled up outside Mitch and Maggie’s house, but Zoey barely seemed to notice.

“Zoey?” Joan prompted gently. “We’re here.”

Zoey startled, and blinked at her parents’ house. “Oh.” She unclipped her seatbelt and slid from Joan’s car. She was still feeling somewhat nauseous, and as she stood at the end of the path leading to the front door, she found she couldn’t quite bring herself to move.

Joan’s hand slipped into hers, warm and soft and reassuring. _Oh yeah_ , Zoey thought, _I’m not alone_. She looked across to her partner- and didn’t that still feel odd?- and saw Joan smiling gently at her. Taking a breath, Zoey squared her shoulders and led the other woman towards the house.

It was Howie who let them in, smiling at Zoey and quietly introducing himself to Joan with a handshake. When Maggie called for Zoey to join them in the kitchen, the redhead turned to look at her partner with a small frown.

“Go on, I’ll wait here,” Joan promised quietly.

Joan waited until Howie and Zoey had disappeared into the kitchen to pull out her phone. Dialling a number, she spared a glance into the sitting room where Mitch was, waiting for the caller to pick up the phone.

“ _Hello?_ ”

“Max, it’s Joan,” she said, trying to keep her voice quiet enough that she wouldn’t disturb Zoey or her family.

“ _Oh, uh, hi Joan. Listen, if this is about Ava firing me-_ ”

“Uh, no. No, it’s not. Although- I am sorry about that, Max. I can see if I can pull a few strings, hire you back-”

“ _I’m not sure,_ ” Max admitted. “ _I mean, unless you could offer me a leadership position. I don’t think I want to go back to being just a coder. I’ve actually been looking at other jobs-_ ”

Joan saw a dark-haired man- presumably Zoey’s brother- walk out of the kitchen then, visibly upset, and she remembered just why she’d called Max. “Um, Max, I was actually calling about Zoey. Well, uh, Zoey’s dad. He’s not doing well, and I think Zoey would want you to know. I know you and she are close.”

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone then, and for a moment Joan thought Max had hung up.

“ _Oh god,_ ” Max muttered after a long while. “ _Uh, thanks for letting me know, Joan. I have to go._ ”

And then Max hung up. Pursing her lips, Joan slipped her phone back into her pocket, turning to see Zoey walking towards her.

“How are you?” she asked quietly.

Zoey shrugged, her eyes a little damp. “David and Emily are gonna go talk with Dad. I told them I could wait.” She spared a glance towards the sitting room, watching as her brother and sister-in-law approached Mitch. Then she looked back to Joan, eyes bright with unshed tears. “I don’t know if I can bear it, Joan. I mean, what am I meant to say to him?”

Joan let out a sigh then. “I know it’s difficult. And... I get why you maybe don’t want to talk to him. It’s a huge thing. Emotional. But Zoey, remember what I told you about when my mom died?”

“You were at work,” Zoey recalled. Joan had mentioned her mom before, when Zoey had told her about Mitch’s illness, but only a few days ago she had also revealed that she hadn’t been there when her mom had passed because she was busy at work.

“I never got to say goodbye,” Joan reminded her softly. “For weeks afterwards, all I could think was ‘what if I’d left work just half hour earlier?’, ‘what if I’d asked for a day off?’, ‘what if I’d at least called to see how she was?’. I don’t want you to have regrets like that, Zoey. I know it’s terrifying, and I know it’s a huge pressure, but not saying goodbye to your dad is much, much worse in the long run.”

Zoey sniffled at that, and Joan pulled her in for a hug. They stayed like that for several long moments, before Maggie appeared in the doorway. Seeing the other woman, Joan reluctantly pulled back from Zoey.

“Joan,” Maggie greeted, giving the woman a small smile. Zoey flushed, and Joan shifted uncomfortably, and Maggie seemed faintly amused by it. “Good to see you again. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Me too,” Joan said. “It’s lovely to see you again, Mrs Clarke.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. It’s Maggie.” She gestured to the kitchen. “Did you want a drink?”

“Oh, I can do that, Mom,” Zoey offered quickly. “Why don’t you-”

“What?” Maggie interrupted quietly. “Sit down? Relax? Watch TV? Zoey, honey, I need to keep busy. This is hard enough as it is. I just... I need to do something.”

Biting her lip, Zoey nodded slowly. “Ok. Coffee would be good, if you’re making it.”

The moment her mom was gone, the redhead turned back to Joan.

“Can I have another hug?” she asked meekly.

Joan gave a sad smile, and Zoey quickly fell into her embrace.

* * *

It was nearly half hour later when there was a knock at the door.

“I’ll get it,” Joan offered quickly as David, Emily, Zoey, and Maggie all looked up in alarm.

She moved quickly towards the door, opening it quietly before stopping dead.

“Uh, Joan. I didn’t realise you were here.”

Max was frowning at her from the doorstep, expression somewhere between confused and surprised.

“Max,” Joan greeted uncomfortably. “Uh, come in.”

The pair of them continued to give each other strange looks as Max stepped into the foyer. He skirted around his boss carefully before moving further into the house. 

“Max?”

Zoey had appeared in the kitchen doorway, a look of surprise on her face. Her voice pulled the attention to her, and Max gave her a sympathetic look.

“Hey, Zoey. Uh, Joan called, she told me about your dad.”

He moved to give her a hug then, and Zoey breathed in his familiar scent. Joan shifted a little uncomfortably, not really knowing what to do. After a few moments, Zoey pulled away from Max and gave him a small smile.

“Did you want to see Dad?” she asked quietly. “I’m sure he’d like to see you.”

Max nodded at that, mustering up a small smile. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.” He glanced to Joan briefly then, before looking back to his friend. “I mean, as long as I’m not interrupting anything.”

Zoey shrugged. “David and Emily have already said their goodbyes really, and I’m still trying to work up the courage. But Dad would want to see you.”

Nodding again, Max moved towards the sitting room, leaving Joan and Zoey behind. Only a few moments later, David and Emily exited the room and headed for the stairs.

“We’re going to try and get some rest,” David explained quietly to his sister. “We won’t be long, though. Just... give me a shout if anything happens?”

“Will do,” Zoey said softly.

Once David and Emily had disappeared upstairs, Zoey held her hand out to Joan and the other woman took it wordlessly. Leading her through to the kitchen, the young woman instinctively began making drinks again.

“Thanks for calling Max,” she said as she waited for the water to boil. She wouldn’t look at Joan, but could feel the woman’s concerned eyes on her. “I’m not sure I would have been able to.”

“No problem. I figured you’d probably want him to know. Wasn’t exactly expecting him to rush over, though.” There was a pause then. “He really loves you, doesn’t he?”

At the tone of Joan’s voice, Zoey couldn’t help but look round. The older woman looked resigned, and perhaps a little anxious. They’d never really discussed Zoey’s almost relationships with Simon or Max. Joan knew that Zoey had sung to them the same day she’d sung to her, but there had never been a full conversation.

“I chose you, Joan,” Zoey reminded her gently. “I want to date you, not Max. And yes, Max has feelings for me, and for a while I thought I might possibly feel the same way about him, but...” She trailed off and shook her head. “There’s only one person who has my heart, and she’s standing in this room with me.”

Joan flushed at that, and tried to cover by rolling her eyes. “Flatterer.” She paused. “I know we said we had to keep our relationship quiet, at least at the office, but you can tell your family. And Max.”

Zoey considered that. “Do you want me to? Tell Max, I mean?”

The brunette shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know. It’s up to you. But Zoey, it looks to me like Max still thinks he has a shot with you, and I’m worried that not telling him about us is going to make things worse in the long run.”

“I’ll speak to Max, tell him we’re dating now.” Zoey turned back to finish making the drinks.

Joan pursed her lips, surveying Zoey for a few moments before moving closer. “Zoey, it doesn’t have to be tonight, you know. You have enough going on right now, and it can wait.”

“Not if you’re uncomfortable,” Zoey countered as she stirred the coffee. “I’m not letting my girlfriend feel like that.” She flashed Joan a small smile.

“Ugh, first of all, I’m a grown woman. I can deal with Max having feelings for you for a few more days,” Joan said. “And secondly, we agreed; we’re partners, not girlfriends. I’m too old to be a _girlfriend_.” She pulled a face.

Zoey smirked then, and pushed a mug of coffee towards Joan. “I beg to disagree,” she said. “But whatever you want, partner.”

* * *

Max didn’t stay long. 

“I should really get going,” he told Zoey quietly as the pair of them stood in the foyer. “But you’ll call if you need anything?”

Zoey hesitated at that. She couldn’t help but think back to the conversation with Joan in the kitchen. As much as the older woman insisted it could wait, she was starting to realise that Max was going to have to know sooner rather than later. 

“Uh, sure,” she managed with a tight smile. “I mean, I think we’re all good here, but if I need anything, you’re my first call.”

Max had a slightly odd look on his face at that, and he nodded slowly. “Alright then. I’ll just leave you guys- and, uh, Joan I guess- to it.”

That made Zoey frown for a brief second, but Max was already moving towards to the door. They said their goodbyes quietly, and then she was left staring out into the street as he walked away.

“Zoey? Everything alright?”

Maggie approached her daughter uncertainly, watching as Zoey closed the door and turned back to her with a puzzled expression.

“Just Max,” she said quietly. “He’s acting a little... Uh, off, I guess.”

Maggie sighed, and moved closer to her daughter. “Well, honey, is it possible he just didn’t know how to act around you? Things are different now.”

Zoey frowned. “I suppose so. But he’s known about Dad being ill for ages...”

Giving her daughter a look, Maggie wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I didn’t mean your dad, honey,” she murmured in her ear as she walked them towards the sitting room.

They stopped just outside the doorway, and Zoey’s eyes went wide as she saw Joan sat with Mitch, talking quietly to him.

“-the best coder we have,” Joan was saying, a proud smile on her face. “I mean, I know we’re both biased, but I really believe that. Zoey’s an extraordinary woman, and I hope you’re proud of her. I... I know _I_ am.”

Wide-eyed, Zoey swallowed thickly as she realised Joan was talking with Mitch about _her_. Maggie rubbed at her daughter’s shoulders.

“For what it’s worth,” Maggie said quietly, “all your father and I have ever wanted is for you to be happy.”

Blinking away tears, Zoey looked to her mom. “I am, Mom. I am happy.”

Maggie smiled back. “Good.”

* * *

Zoey’s talk with Howie about death had helped, at least a little bit. Honestly, Zoey was glad to have Joan there with her. If she’d had to go through it alone she didn’t know what she would have done. The worst part, of course, was the waiting. She was waiting for her dad to die. The thought made her feel sick.

It didn’t make it any easier, though, when her mom came to tell her she needed to speak to her dad sooner rather than later. David and Howie had moved him into his bed, made him more comfortable, and part of Zoey regretted waiting so long. If she’d spoken to him just a little earlier, she could have spoken to him in the sitting room. Now, he was mostly unconscious, drugged up and struggling to breathe. Zoey sat beside him, biting her lip as she considered what to say.

“I’m going to try to go a different way with this,” she admitted slowly. “I’m doing well at work, the guy I had a crush on likes me back, although I’ve finally figured out my love life and it doesn’t involve him. Or Max. Or, well, any guy. But I think you’ve figured that out, huh? I heard a bit of what Joan said to you earlier. I... I really love her, Dad. We’re keeping the relationship quiet for now, though. We’re still trying to work out the logistics, particularly at work, but I think this might be it.” Zoey broke off, smiling to herself for a moment, before continuing. “And those heart songs I keep hearing? I’m starting to think that they’re not all bad. In fact, I’m sort of warming to them. So... I’m doing alright. Nothing’s perfect, and I’m figuring things out as I go, but I thought you’d want to hear that. That your little girl’s doing well.”

As Zoey finished speaking, she felt a calm wash over her. She’d been dreading this moment for weeks- months, even. And while it had been horrible, there was also something peaceful inside of her. She’d spoken to her dad, she hadn’t broken down, she’d been able to finally give him good news about her job, her love life, her powers.

But then Mitch started struggling to breathe, and Howie hurried into the room to drug him up with more morphine. Maggie and David hovered nearby in concern, and Joan paused in the doorway, unsure what to do. Without thinking, Zoey peeled herself away from the bed to move instead into Joan’s embrace. David spared her a glance, but did nothing more than give his younger sister a tight, sympathetic smile before returning his attention to Mitch.

There really wasn’t anything any of them could do, though, beyond wait for the inevitable. David left the room briefly to check on Emily, but other than that the family remained gathered around Mitch. When Zoey returned to her father’s bedside she tugged Joan with her, and the older woman stood behind the redhead’s chair with a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

That was how Joan realised something odd was happening. Zoey stiffened beneath her touch, before looking to the sitting room and standing. Thinking that she perhaps needed space, Joan let her go. The whole thing lasted only a few seconds, and Zoey only got as far as the door before pausing.

That was when it happened. As Maggie let out a sob, Zoey turned back to her family with a smile on her face. It quickly faded, however, and she turned to look over her shoulder again with a concerned look. Blinking, she stared at her dad for a moment before looking to Joan. Without anyone even uttering a word, Joan quickly moved towards Zoey, holding her arms out. The younger woman fell into the embrace with a sob.

Nobody talked for a very long time.

* * *

There was a good turnout for Mitch’s funeral, which surprised nobody. He was a well-loved man, who got on with pretty much everybody he met. Of course lots of people wanted to pay their respects.

It was all a bit overwhelming, though, and Zoey, David, and Emily were all for staying in the car rather than going inside the house. Maggie urged them inside, though, and they were forced to make awkward small-talk with all the guests. 

Or, at least, David and Emily were. Zoey was off in her own little world for almost the entirety of the afternoon and into the evening. Joan followed her around the house, making pleasant small-talk with friends of the Clarke family while keeping a close eye on her partner. She knew she was probably raising suspicions, particularly when it came to Max, but she was too concerned about Zoey to care. Although, she did file away Simon’s surprising reaction for future conversation. While the man hadn’t been hostile, he’d been giving Joan sideways glances the whole time, a shadow over his eyes that hinted at jealousy or annoyance.

 _Oh joy_. Not only did Max have feelings for Zoey, but it looked like Simon did too. How were they going to keep Simon off their scent if they wanted to keep their relationship quiet at work? 

As she was introduced to yet another old family friend, Joan shook the thought from her head. She was there for Zoey, to remind her to take a break, to eat, to sit down, to step out for some air. They had the rest of their lives to deal with Simon and Max, and anyone else. Right now, she had to get her partner through the rest of the day.

It was a good couple of hours before people finally started filtering out the door. With everyone gone or halfway out the door, Joan was just about to get going when she was stopped by David.

“Are you leaving?”

Joan blinked at him in surprise, looking towards the foyer where Zoey and Mo were saying their goodbyes, before looking back to him. “Uh, yeah. I figured, this was family time...”

David considered that for a moment, before giving the woman a small smile. “I know that you’re dating my sister. I’m pretty certain that makes you family.”

Not really knowing how to respond, Joan stared at him. “So, uh, Zoey told you?”

At that, David laughed a little. “No, no. But she’s my little sister, you know? Besides, I saw the way you two were, the night Dad... Well, let’s just say I could tell.”

Joan folded her arms, a little uncomfortable. “Right. So you’re... Alright with it? I mean, I know Zoey will care, so...”

David shrugged. “We’ve been through hell since Dad was diagnosed. As far as I’m concerned, as long as you make her happy I have no problem with it.” He nodded towards the sitting room, where Emily was already waiting. “So. Are you going to join us?”

Joan glanced towards the foyer again, just in time to see Mo slipping out the door. “If Zoey wants me to, yes.”

David smiled. “Good. Welcome to the family, Joan.”

* * *

Joan eventually left the Clarke residence at just before half ten that night, with Zoey, David, and Emily all staying the night. Unsurprisingly, over the next few days she and Zoey didn’t see each other in person, tied up as they both were. But they did manage some conversation over the phone, which was better than nothing. While Zoey was spending time with her family in the wake of Mitch’s death, Joan was frantically trying to figure out her new role as acting CEO of SPRQ Point while Danny Michael Davis was in prison (still nobody was entirely clear on the charges).

In fact, Joan had resigned herself to not seeing her partner in person for at least a week, and so it was quite a surprise when Zoey showed up on her doorstep five days after the funeral. 

“I needed to see you,” Zoey said loudly, pushing her way into Joan’s house before the other woman had chance to fully process what was happening.

Joan shut the door against the orange glow of the evening sun, and turned to her partner with a frown. “Zoey? Is everything alright-”

Joan had barely finished speaking before Zoey’s lips were pressed against hers. The kiss was determined, forceful, and spoke of Zoey’s struggling emotions. Joan allowed herself to lean into the kiss for a moment or two before forcing herself to pull away. 

“Zoey, honey, talk to me. Not that it’s not great to see you, but this is a bit sudden...”

Zoey’s shoulders slumped then, and she folded her arms across her chest, avoiding Joan’s gaze. “I just... I missed you. We’ve not seen each other since Dad’s funeral, and even though we’ve talked on the phone, it’s not the same.” She sighed. “I should have called. You’re probably busy. I’m sorry.”

She moved towards the door then, but Joan quickly intercepted.

“It’s fine, honey,” Joan said, taking her arm and instead steering her towards the sitting room. “I could do with a break, anyway. Geez, how Danny Michael Davis was always so chilled out, I’ll never know.”

She gently pushed Zoey down onto the large, plush designer sofa, before sitting down next to her. immediately, the younger woman moved closer, looking for contact.

“I’m sorry I’ve not had much time for you recently,” Zoey said quietly. “And I’m sorry for showing up unannounced.”

“Zoey, you’ve just lost your dad. You’re allowed to be busy, and you’re allowed to be a little out of sorts. Also, you’re allowed here anytime you want.”

Zoey shifted to look at Joan then, a cautiously hopeful look on her face. “Really?”

Joan smiled softly. “Really. Hey, I didn’t demand the house in the divorce just to piss Charlie off.” She considered that for a moment, before shrugging and staring across the room. “Well, that was a big part of it. But I also demanded the house because it’s _mine_. It’s _my_ home. Charlie was nearly always out, or travelling, or at a hotel after a party. He never really seemed to belong here. But I did. I _do_ , and I want _you_ to belong here too.”

Zoey was unnervingly quiet then, and Joan looked down at her partner with a worried frown. The redhead was staring at her with a look of bewilderment.

“Oh, god,” Joan said, eyes going wide. “ _Why_ did I bring my ex-husband up? I’m sorry, Zoey, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable-”

“No, no, it’s not that...” Zoey said quickly, though she didn’t exactly look any more relaxed. “I just... Joan, are you suggesting I move in with you?”

The older woman blinked at that. “Uh... Do you want to?”

“Do you want me to?”

Joan frowned. “So... You _do_ want to?”

“I didn’t say that,” Zoey countered, growing more confused. “Wait... Do you _want_ me to want to?”

“I... Zoey, I don’t even understand the conversation we’re having right now,” Joan admitted, frown deepening as she tried to untangle everything in her head. “I’ve spent most of today figuring out the release schedule for SPRQ Point’s latest products, and I think Danny Michael Davis wrote the whole thing while stoned because none of it makes sense... He’s scheduled floor three’s video chat app for release in Julgust. What does that even mean? _Julgust_?”

“I- Well, it sounds like he merged July and August,” Zoey pointed out helpfully. “So... Maybe he was hedging his bets?”

“Zoey, it’s Danny Michael Davis we’re talking about!”

“Oh. Yeah. Then he was probably stoned when he wrote the schedule.”

Joan rolled her eyes. “Exactly my point.” Then, she shook her head. “No! No, that’s not my point! My point is that, after dealing with that all day, I’m tired enough that I cannot begin to figure out the conversation we seem to be having. So don’t take this the wrong way, Zoey, but I _wasn’t_ asking you to move in. At least, not yet. We’ve only had one date, the night we called the bake-off off. I haven’t been divorced that long, only a few months. You’re still grieving after losing your dad. I don’t think rushing into this relationship is what either of us need. But I meant what I said; I want you to be comfortable here. You are welcome here any time.”

Zoey nodded slowly, a warm smile spreading across her face as Joan spoke. “That... That sounds good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I have to admit, I kind of got a little spooked,” Zoey admitted, voice quiet but warm. “I don’t know if I’m ready to move in with you, not on any sort of permanent basis. But I would like to spend more time with you, whether that’s here, or my place, or going out on dates...”

Joan smiled. “That _does_ sound good.”

* * *

After a week and a half off of work in the wake of Mitch’s death, Zoey Clarke surprised everyone by showing back up at SPRQ Point at nine on the dot. And nobody was more baffled than her partner.

Partway through fending off kind words and awkward condolences from her team, including Leif and Tobin, the redhead became aware that she was being watched. Standing in the doorway to her office, arms folded and a neutral expression on her face, was Joan.

“Zoey? Can I speak to you a moment?”

Pursing her lips, Zoey moved towards the office, barely hearing Tobin’s muttered comment to Leif about how she was already in trouble and she hadn’t even been in the office five minutes. Once inside Joan’s office, Zoey reluctantly lowered herself into the chair. Joan sat on the edge of her desk, arms still folded and giving the younger woman an exasperated look.

“Why are you here, Zoey?”

“I work here?” Zoey offered, trying to lighten the situation.

The arched eyebrow from Joan told her that it wasn’t going to work.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming in today?” Joan tried again. “We spoke last night! You never mentioned coming in!”

“I just... Felt like it,” Zoey shrugged. “I mean, Mom’s been getting out the house a little to meet with friends, Emily’s had the baby so that’s keeping my brother busy... I wanted to just come in, and work on some code, and not be treated like a delicate object for a while.”

Pursing her lips, the brunette nodded slowly then. It seemed like she was choosing her next words carefully. “Am I... Am I doing something wrong? Is there something you want me to, to stop doing? Or that I should be doing but I’m not?”

Zoey blinked. “What? No, Joan! Why would you think that?”

“Well, I don’t know,” Joan looked away, clearly uncomfortable and a little embarrassed. It reminded Zoey of how she’d reacted when Charlie had walked out of their SPRQ Watch meeting, and it made her uneasy that she’d upset Joan just like Charlie had. “You’re saying you don’t want to be treated like a delicate object, you’re coming back into work without letting me know... It sounds like this is a me-and-you issue.”

“It’s not, I promise,” the redhead responded gently. She sighed. “I didn’t mean to upset you, Joan, and I really didn’t plan to come back in today, or I’d have spoken to you. I just woke up this morning and realised that I didn’t want to sit around feeling sorry for myself anymore. I _know_ that sounds awful, but it’s the truth. Dad would hate it if he knew what was going on, if he knew I still had my life on hold for him. I just needed to come in, needed to do some work and get my mind off it all. And when I’m here, I’m not Zoey-whose-dad-just-died; I’m Zoey-the-team-leader. I mean, sure, Tobin and Leif and everyone are aware of what I’ve been going through, and they’re being a bit nicer than usual, but they aren’t going to constantly ask me how I’m feeling. When I’m at Mom’s house, and people come round, all they want to know is how I’m holding up. When I’m here, or with you, it’s different.”

It was Joan’s turn to sigh then, her expression softening to one of concern. “Honey, you should have told me. I understand, I get that you need to be doing something. But I don’t like being caught off-guard, you know that. I’m not saying you have to ask my permission, not at all, but if you’d just let me know...” She trailed off, took a breath. “I worried. When I saw you come in, I worried.”

Zoey frowned. “You... _Worried_?”

Nodding, Joan hesitantly met her eyes again. “Yeah. I mean, I told you that you could take two full weeks off, and you seemed so keen, and so when you showed up today I worried that you were doing something you’d regret. You know, that you were coming back early to prove a point or something, or trying to force yourself to do something you weren’t ready for.” She cleared her throat, glanced out the glass of her office to see Tobin and Leif watching in concern. “I guess I’m just feeling a little overprotective of you right now.” She gave her partner a small smile. “And I’m trying hard not to smother you, but... I don’t like seeing you hurting, Zoey.”

“Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t like seeing you hurting either,” Zoey countered with a soft smile. “And I’m sorry I made you worry.” She too glanced over at Leif and Tobin then, before looking back to her partner. “I should get back to work before Leif and Tobin start coming up with conspiracy theories about what we’re talking about.”

With one final smile between the two women, Zoey left the room.

* * *

By lunchtime, however, Zoey was finding the office a little stifling.

“Hey,” she greeted Joan as she reached the cereal bar.

Joan was glaring at the options available, clearly taken with none of them. “These choices are awful. Who chose to go back to a cereal bar? Was it Glenn?”

Before she could shout for poor Glenn, who was probably hiding again, Zoey cleared her throat pointedly.

“Uh, actually, I wanted to speak to you about that. I- Well, if you’re not busy, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for lunch? I just... Need to get out of the office for a bit.”

Concern came over Joan’s face, and she nodded quickly. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Let me grab my purse.”

They headed for the elevators, with a detour through Joan’s office to grab her purse, and soon they were out of the office and walking down the street.

“Where were you thinking?” Joan asked, slipping her hand into Zoey’s. “There’s a sushi place nearby, if you fancy that. Or there’s a good Italian place-”

“I was thinking somewhere a little different,” Zoey interrupted, giving her partner a nervous smile. “I’m more in the mood for... Well, for something sweet.”

Joan gave a small smile at that, and simply nodded for Zoey to lead the way. They made small talk as they walked, talking about anything that came to mind. Joan complained yet again about Danny Michael Davis’s awful management of SPRQ Point, while Zoey shared stories of her brother and Emily embarking on parenthood.

“I don’t think it will be long before Mom offers to babysit,” Zoey laughed. “She’s already been telling David and Emily about how nice it will be for them to be able to go out for a meal just the two of them.”

“Have you had a chance to meet the baby yet?” Joan asked. 

At that, Zoey grinned widely, and promptly dove into her purse to retrieve her phone. “I have pictures!”

Moments later, Joan found herself blinking at an entire album on Zoey’s phone dedicated to her newborn nephew. “He’s cute,” she said, accepting the phone to thumb through the photos. “Tiny.”

“I think my sister-in-law would disagree with that,” Zoey said with a grin.

Joan smirked back. “I’m sure she would.” She came across a photo of Zoey holding the baby then, and promptly fell silent. The photo had clearly been snapped without Zoey knowing, as she stared down at the tiny baby in her arms with such love that it made Joan’s heart clench. She quickly covered the sudden flood of fear she felt with a smile and handed the phone back to its owner. “What did they call him again?”

“Sam,” Zoey said as she pocketed the phone. “Well, Samuel Mitch Clarke.” 

She was still beaming from ear to ear, and it was clear that she doted on her nephew. Feeling another wave of unease, Joan busied herself with checking her own phone for emails.

* * *

“This is cheesecake,” Joan said, staring at the food in front of her.

“This is cheese _quake_ ,” Zoey corrected as she slid into a seat opposite. “It’s good. Try it.”

Still a little baffled that Zoey had wanted cheesecake over sushi or Italian, Joan picked up her spoon and scooped a small amount of the food into her mouth. Zoey watched her with a knowing smile.

“This is good,” Joan said after a few moments. “How did you find out about this place?”

“Simon brought me here,” Zoey admitted. “And then I brought Max here, after he got fired. It’s good comfort food.”

At the mention of the two men in Zoey’s life, Joan felt her smile stiffen a little. First the photo of Zoey and Sam, and now the mention of Max and Simon. Joan was a confident woman while at work, but Charlie’s treatment of her over the years had left her uncertain when it came to personal connections. She couldn’t help but feel like Zoey was already slipping through her fingers. 

“Joan?”

Shaking herself, the brunette forced another smile, hoping it looked more natural than it felt.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah,” she waved off Zoey’s concern. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Zoey frowned. “Uh, because it doesn’t _look_ alright?”

Joan responded by shrugging. “I’m fine.” She took another bite of food. “Good cheesequake.”

But Zoey pursed her lips, set down her spoon, and leaned forward to take Joan’s hand in hers. “Something’s bothering you. I can tell.”

Brow furrowing, Joan glanced around before leaning forward. “I didn’t... You know? I mean, this isn’t a power thing, is it?”

“What? No, you didn’t sing. Joan, I can just _tell_. Something’s bothering you. Talk to me.”

Zoey’s thumb was stroking the delicate skin of Joan’s wrist then; a soothing motion that did help to calm the older woman’s racing thoughts even if it didn’t stop them entirely.

“I’m being stupid,” Joan said with a sigh.

“I doubt that,” Zoey said. “You don’t _do_ stupid.”

The brunette’s lips quirked at that, but then she looked away for a moment. “Zoey...” She looked back to her partner, uncertain. “Why are you with me?”

Zoey frowned. “Because I love you.” She thought for a moment. “Is this because I mentioned Max? I’ve already told you, you don’t have to worry about him. I chose you, remember?”

“I remember,” Joan agreed quietly. “But Zoey, you could have Max, or Simon, or anyone else your age. Why did you pick me? That photo of you and your nephew... You do realise that being with me means no kids, right? I mean, I’m not cut out to be a mom! I scare everybody in the office! And even if I didn’t, I’m too old for all that. I’m more than twenty years older than you; in fact I’m closer to your mom’s age than yours!”

Zoey’s frown deepened. “This is really bothering you.” She took in Joan’s pursed lips, her tight posture, her damp eyes. Her heart broke. “Joan, how many times do I have to tell you that I love you? I don’t want Max, or Simon, or anyone else. And as much as I love Sam, I’m not even sure I want kids. And I certainly don’t care how old you are.”

“You might change your mind,” Joan countered, sitting back in her chair and pulling her arm from Zoey’s grip.

The redhead shrugged. “Or I might not. Joan, I never gave any serious thought to ever being with Max, and I never really considered anything serious with Simon either. The only one I want that sort of relationship with is you. And I know that I can’t make you believe this, but I don’t want anybody except you.”

Finally, Joan’s lips quirked into a small smile and some of the tension fell from her shoulders. The pair of them stayed silent for a few moments, no words necessary as they stared into each other’s eyes. But then, Zoey got this strange feeling she was being watched, and reluctantly tore her eyes from Joan. Looking round, her eyes went wide as she saw someone familiar watching them.

With a frown, Joan turned to look too, swallowing when she saw Simon staring back at them with a surprised on his face. As the man approached, Zoey and Joan shared a bewildered look.

“What do we do?” Joan whispered, wide-eyed.

Zoey only just managed a shrug before Simon reached the table.

“Ladies,” he greeted, smiling at the pair of them although it looked strained. “Joan, I see Zoey’s introduced you to cheesequakes.”

“She is,” Joan responded with a tight smile. “They’re good.”

“That they are,” Simon agreed, looking between the two women. “Zoey! I heard you were back at work today. I thought you weren’t back until next Monday?”

“Oh, yeah,” Zoey said uncomfortably. “I, uh, I came back a little early. Wanted to do something, you know. Keep myself busy.”

Simon nodded in understanding, and was about to say something when he was interrupted.

“Uh, hi guys.”

Max was approaching them with a confused look on his face, taking in Zoey and Joan sharing a table, and the awkward expression on Simon’s face.

“Hi, Simon, Joan,” Max greeted with a forced smile. He gave a small nod to his former boss and the man next to him before turning his attention to the younger woman. “Zo, I was about to call you. I didn’t realise you were meeting Joan for lunch. I got cheesequakes.” He held up the two cheesequakes he’d already purchased.

“Oh, well, great minds think alike,” Zoey said, eyes flashing to the two cheesequakes Simon was also holding. “But I went back into work this morning, so I asked Joan to join me for something to eat.” She shifted a little uncomfortably.

Opposite her, Joan was tight-lipped and pale-faced. There was a tense silence for several long moments before, finally, Simon spoke up.

“So, uh, I should get back to work. Lots of stuff to do at the office.”

“Uh, yeah, I should go too,” Max said suddenly, giving the two women a tight smile. “That new job isn’t going to find itself.”

As the two men walked away, Joan’s shoulders sagged.

“Oh, god,” she muttered, giving Zoey a look.

“It’s fine,” Zoey responded quietly as she watched the men leave, “I doubt Simon will say anything, and Max doesn’t even work at SPRQ Point anymore.”

“That doesn’t make it any less awkward,” Joan pointed out. “Both Simon and Max clearly like you, Zoey, and now they’ve seen us together...”

But Zoey couldn’t hear the rest of what Joan was saying, as music started up in her head. She saw both Simon and Max stop walking, turning round to approach her again.

“Oh boy,” she muttered.

It was just Simon who started singing as he approached her, though, and the words surprised Zoey.

_“This was all you, none of it me,  
You put your hands on, on my body and told me,  
Mmmm,  
You told me you were ready  
For the big one, for the big jump  
I’d be your last love everlasting you and me  
Mmmm,  
That was what you told me...”_

Simon hit the chorus just as he reached Joan and Zoey’s table, Max sliding in neatly beside him and joining in with the lyrics.

_“I’m giving you up  
I’ve forgiven it all  
You set me free.”_

The two men started dancing then, Simon moving clockwise round the table while Max went counter-clockwise. Opposite her, Joan was frowning at her.

“Zoey? Zoey, what’s happening?”

_“Send my love to your new lover  
Treat her better...”_

Blinking, Zoey forced herself to look at her partner. “Uh, Max and Simon are singing.”

_“We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts  
We both know we ain’t kids no more...”_

Joan’s eyebrows shot up. “Singing? Singing what? Are they going to tell HR about us?”

“I... I don’t think so,” Zoey admitted, watching as the men continued to dance.

_“Send my love to your new lover  
Treat her better...”_

“Well, what are they singing?”

Zoey shrugged. “I don’t know the song. It’s something about... I think it’s called ‘Send my love’?”

At that, Joan’s eyebrow arched. “Oh.”

_“We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts  
We both know we ain’t kids no more...”_

Simon’s voice faded out then as Max took over for the next verse.

_“I was too strong, you were trembling  
You couldn’t handle the hot heat rising  
Mmmm,  
Baby, I’m still rising  
I was running, you were walking  
You couldn’t keep up, you were falling down  
Mmmm,  
There’s only one way down.”_

Zoey blinked as she realised the significance of what the two men were singing. Joan gave her a small smile.

_“I’m giving you up  
I’ve forgiven it all  
You set me free, oh...”_

Simon came back in for the chorus as the two men came to a stop side by side where they’d started.

_“Send my love to your new lover  
Treat her better  
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts  
We both know we ain’t kids no more...”_

As they continued to sing, Simon and Max started to back away, moving towards the exit. Their voices faded as they grew further away.

_“Send my love to your new lover  
Treat her better  
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts  
We both know we ain’t kids no more...”_

And then, it was over. Blinking, Zoey looked to Joan.

“This is a good thing, right?” Joan asked uncertainly, studying Zoey’s face for clues as to how she was feeling.

A smile spread across the younger woman’s face. “Yes. It is.”

And then, just because she could, she stood up, pulled Joan forward, and kissed her across the table.


End file.
